Christmas gifts and what happens when college kids try to ACT cool

Its that time of the year again, when I think its fun to spend all my hard earned money* to buy gifts for other people. And I'm not only referring to the fact that its Christmas, but also that I'm going back home for the holidays and so am expected to get things for everyone like a good human being would (I should be in HR, no?)
Also it was the Boyfriend's birthday in November and I've never gotten him anything before, so I thought I should spend some **. Called Lil Sis to run ideas by

Me: So between Armani, Kenneth Cole, Tag Heuer, Calvin Klein - what would you choose. Or are there other brands I haven't thought of
She: What about like Titan and stuff?
Me: You do realise the class of watches I'm talking about. Titan is about 2 categories+ below on this food chain.
She: What's brands does he like?
Me: He wanted a Rolex Lil Sis, and since I haven't lost my senses yet, I will not spend MY money on such insane things. Come to think of it, a good Tag Heuer is expensive too. Cross that off the list. So what do I get?
She: My friends are here and he says get Tommy Hilfiger
Me: He has one already, I took it for a year and then he stole it back. He also has Esprit
She: Ok, now my friend says get an S-WATCH, its real nice
Me: a what?
She: An S-Watch. Its called S Watch. Its like Swiss made and stuff and supposed to be really cool for guys and stuff
Me: Could your friend possibly mean Swatch and not S-Watch?
She: errm, ok then bye.


* Yes, Hard-earned. Money is Money and should always be assumed to be hard earned. The fact that I don’t do much to earn mine shouldn’t matter.
**To my dear darling boyfriend who doesn’t read this blog cause he thinks he can write better: if you don’t like the gifts I got you I WILL TAKE THEM BACK. No way am I spending that money on a watch and not getting good returns on it

Run, Run for your lives!!!

We had a fire drill in the office this week. My first one in Singapore, and I have to say if this is the way people react to the fire drill, then a lot of people will die when it actually happens.

For one, it took me 15 mins to get down from the 10th floor - No, not because I am slow, but because the people ahead of me were moving like retarded snails. And i can guarantee you that if it wasn't a drill and a real one, they would move at exactly the same pace

The thought did cross my mind of just kicking everyone out of the way or atleast muttering to myself hoping everyone around would notice my displeasure and change completely.

The fact that these thoughts have been blitzkrieging in my mind before you can say whaa seems like a ray of sunshine. Atleast now I know Singapore has not deadened all of my braincells and some of them are active enough to realise how fucked we all are gonna be when pansy boys who never played sports and too thin girls on high heels are in front of you in the race of get out of a burning building *

Not surprisingly, the only thing I bought down with me was my phone and smokes, and so did most people I know. I'm sure if there was a real fire, we'd do the same too, which should say something a out how much little we get paid out here and other profound things
The fire drill also reminds me of the other time I was at work and had to walk down bout 13 floors - there was an earthquake in India and there were some tremors in Bombay. Being the high-rent fragile building that we worked in, it did sway a lil ** and at the time I thought it was just the hangover. Then people realised that it was a tremor and general confusion took over on whether we should run, run for our lives or just continue working.

The fire alarm didn’t go off - partly the reason for the confusion.

Human Resources who are supposed to make the emergency announcements in such cases, had all evacuated faster than Hiro Nakamura took to blink his eyelids and reach the Neanderthal age.
Obviously the rest of the departments were useless and replaceable other than for Human Resources and hence the exodus. They were down 15 floors before the rest of us slow trusting folks even knew it was an earthquake ***


* If I'm not mistaken there's even a group on facebook called "I Secretly Want To Punch Slow Walking People In The Back Of The Head" and if I remember correctly, which of course I do, I did join that group.
** eyewitness accounts say it swayed a lot, but you usually shouldn’t believe eyewitness accounts in India
***although they claimed they needed to be down to do a people count and ensure everyone was out of the building and accounted for. The fact that they didn’t inform anyone else didn’t seem to matter.

I Shed a Tear (Ode to my Heroes)

How to get ahead of yourself - More things to do in the days to come

Today while reading Eat Pray Love at work i came across the most beautiful concept in the world - something i've appreciated and mastered for a long long long time now.
In Italian it is Bel Far Niente or The Beauty of doing Nothing.
While this concept has been successfully mastered, i think it is time to add to the wishlist.

The original wishlist is posted here
So here goes - Complete wishlist along with the additions:


Original list:

1. Watch a football game live (EPL, definitely an Arsenal game)
2. Learn to play the guitar (that’s been lying at home for the past 8 years)
3. Learn to play the drums.
4. Learn Golf (I’m gonna get rich some day and it is the rich man’s game)
5. Learn to swim (so i don't drown)
6. Figure what the stock market game is all about, and make some moolah off it
7. Learn to skate.
8. Learn to drive a bike (and be good at it)
9. Learn to drive a car (and be good at it as well)
10. Own my own car
11. Go cross country travelling round India (Only been to Pune, Goa and Jamshedpur so far)
12. Visit my top 20 cities in the world (Been to Barcelona, Amsterdam & Copenhagen)
13. Write a letter to / write for a newspaper or magazine (as in get it published)
14. Be interviewed by a news channel (I like when people ask my opinions)
15. Be an extra on a television soap opera/ movie.
16. Get Married (this one needs to be here on this list... i have friends already telling me i might die a spinster considering my complicated love life)
17. Write my will (and have something to bequeath in it)
18. Travel to 6 continents. Am excluding Antarctica here. (Europe and Asia so far)
19. There are 194 counties in the world. Visit as many as I can (So far Netherlands, Denmark, U.A.E., Austria, Sweden, Spain, Singapore, Cambodia, Thailand , Indonesia, & Malaysia)
20. Take a year off just to do nothing
21. Go skinny-dipping (after learning to swim)
22. Learn to sail. (also after I learn to swim)
23. Not owe anyone any money. Be Debt free. (done. I'm Debt Freeeee 5.10.2008)
24. Fly a kite.
25. Own my own house
26. Have a graffiti wall of my own
27. Learn to carry a proper note for more than 10 seconds (which would be the toughest thing on this list considering my singing abilities)
28. Watch a play (yeah, never have till now)
29. Latin American dances
30. Bungee jumping
31. Skydive.
32. Go for a Pearl Jam concert
33. Go for a Green Day concert
Additions
34. Learn a Language: I'm opting for either Italian or Spanish
35. Learn a skill that should be completely useless to me. As in taking proper classes to learn, and it should probably be something like making furniture or baking cakes or learning to make chocolates - which I won't need to know.
36. Self teaching myself a will-not-use-again skill. What differentiates this from number 35 is the teacher. Moi. To make this even more interesting, the self taught skill should help in making/saving money i would otherwise spend to buy a product. So it would have to be something like learning to stitch or Sewing or whatever it's called, and can't be teaching myself to climb the stairs two at a time.
37. This should be the toughest one and least likely to happen: For a whole week to go to the gym. And exercise.
38. Learn Pilates or Yoga or some other form of meditation. I'm not sure why but i did buy myself a book on pilates.
39. To read a 100 books in 2009. See my 100+ reading challenge here. This is the only one with a deadline so far
40. In keeping with the over ambitious and cheekiness of this stupid delirious day, i'm thinking what the hell.. lets just add on to this now and make a nice 40 things. So, number 40 is to have atleast 3 months of my present salary saved in my bank account by end 2009. Well, one can always dream

When Technology bites you in the arse...read to it

What a crappy weeks its been so far. Or should I say crappy two days.

I had to carry the world's heaviest pc from home to the office yesterday. Yes, they don’t give out laptops for home use where I work, they give you a desktop, and if you're nitpicky like me and want one that actually works, then you need to bring it in to get it replaced. I realise now that I'm not strong like superman, cause my hands and, well, all of me has been aching like hell after that. I had to hold the cig with two hands yesterday so it could make it all the way to my lips - that’s how bad it was.

And then, if that Monday morning fun wasn’t enough, my pc at work crashed in the afternoon- meaning I have to wait for the worlds best IT team to now take the one week they require to retrieve all my data while I work on the 1960's model they've provided me for now.

And then this morning, my phone decided it didn’t want to display any information any more. I can take calls, but that’s pretty much it cause I can't see jack of what I'm doing with the blessed thing. If Nokia charge me a bomb to repair it, i'm just gonna get a new phone. Oh, wait. Cannot afford a new phone till the 24th - in the last 21 days, i've spent as much money as i usually spend in 3+ months.

Since they're not giving me any interesting work or a working computer to use, and i can't while away the time making phone calls to people who are similarly useless, I've decided I'm going to do the only thing I can. Read my novels at work.
Right now I'm on page 65 of Eat, Pray, Love and by the end of the week, it should be over. (well, I cant just keep reading all the time, a girls gotta pretend to work as well)

Why BPL mobile is better than Vodafone in India

I found this on the India page at work today:

Vodafone Mobile Users in India
In the recent past various cases of inconvenience caused to Vodafone Corporate users have been highlighted to Finance e.g. recovery agents calling up users directly asking for payment, disconnection of services etc, this in spite of timely payment of mobile bills. While we are taking up the same with Vodafone officials and have been promised better service levels, you have an option of swapping your current Vodafone connection with a BPL connection. Experience has proven that BPL is more efficient & keeps service commitments. Depending upon availability BPL will try and retain the last 5 digits of your current Vodafone number. In case any of the existing Vodafone corporate users would want to opt for BPL, kindly get in touch with the Admin department.

Heehee. So much for Customer Service

Why some men will always be single and why you should consider it a blessing in disguise

Say one day you went for lunch to a place that was bout half an hour from your place of work. And there while having lunch you saw a girl with a bunch of her work colleagues at another table and you were smitten.
And then you said to yourself - "Why!!! this is Love at First Sight". So you came back the next day and the next and well, you've been coming back to the lunch place for almost a year now.
The girl works close by and comes there for lunch occasionally. So you see her once-twice in a week there.

Day 25: You've managed to pile on and meet her friends. Now you know her friend's name but not hers. So you go look up her friend on Facebook, Orkut and other places hoping to find 'your' girl among her list of friends and find out more about her - you know, like her NAME to being with.
Maybe eventually 2 months later you finally know her name. You're completely in love with this girl who probably doesn’t even know you exist (or maybe she considers you the weird guy who sits at her table when she goes to the lunch place sometimes)
Now that you’ve found out her name, you're worried about the fact that she's not of your religion - you know like a pastors son might worry about introducing his atheist girlfriend who he wants to marry to his father - you worry about it something along those lines
Lets mention again, in case you've forgotten, how said girl does not know you at all, but still you're crazy in love with her.

In fact, you're 'so much in love' that you've even found out her place of work (which is very far from where you work, I might add) and you go wait outside her building hoping to catch a glimpse of her as she leave the office

You don’t know if she has a boyfriend or is married or is a lesbian even- mostly cause the most you've spoken to her is probably an occasional very-hard-to-speak-right-now-cause-you're-in-front-of-me-and-I'm-tongue tied "HI"

You ask your friends for tips on how to make conversation with her and tell them how you've fallen head over heels

No, she's not Britney spears.

No, you’re not a 17 yr old Boy in college falling in love for the first time with a girl who you see in the campus either.

You're 28

You think maybe someone should slap some sense into you and tell you to get a life?

How to Stay Away From Work - Sick Leave Reasons you can send your manager before falling back into bed!!!

These are what I call the '8 am fantastic excuses for not coming to work' sms reasons I've received from people who work with me. Its actually quite a big list, but these ones below are the gems from the lot that i've still saved on my phone

• "I stay in bed today. I feel e room spinning. Will come to office day after tomorrow" (How do you know in advance that it will take 2 days for the room to stop spinning. I did wonder, but i didn't ask)
• "Good Morning, Yesterday at midnight I fainted and fell in e toilet. Got 50cents bump on my forehead. Feeling nausea and room spinning at times. Doc said I should rest. So I am resting"
• "My doctor said I have a salt imbalance in my body and I should not go to the office"
• "Last night I went home, and I was walking in my house and I banged my toes against the cupboard. I rest today and come to work tomorrow"

While reading these, it is also nice to note that in Singapore (atleast in my workplace) you need a Medical Certificate for all sick leave that you take. Even if it is for one day. And I've always received a certificate the next day from my sickly bunch

Kenya declares holiday for Obama (Because i can't think of any witty title for this post)

So what with Lewis Hamilton winning the F1 championship and Obama now president, all seems to be well and happy and hopeful in the world and everyone thinking its gotten a little more 'equal' now.

Meanwhile, Kenya has declared Thursday a public holiday to celebrate the election of Barack Obama to the US presidency.

There was an official memo sent out by our Kenyan office today :
"Please be informed that all XXX Kenya offices will remain closed tomorrow, Thursday the 6th of November 2008 as it has been declared a public holiday following the phenomenal victory by Barack Obama in the US Presidential Elections."
So, all ye shippers, let your cargo rot for another day while they celebrate in Kenya the victory of a coloured man becoming president of a country that is not Kenya.

Does the US have a holiday today as well?

More proof about the Quickly-Dying-Unused-Brain cells

So last night I had a shower, put my glasses back on and went downstairs to watch the rest of the Heroes Season 2 Marathon
Only I couldn’t see as clearly as before.
I kept closing one eye at a time and trying to see if I could read the Star World logo on the TV and it was blurry.
I tried wiping the lens hoping that would solve it but it still wasn’t any better
I kept wondering what on earth could have happened after I had that shower that would made my new spectacles weaker in power. I mean, my number couldn’t have just increased just like that.

Me (to mom and Lil Sis) : You know its funny, suddenly I can't see clearly with these glasses. I could see properly before I had a shower
Lil Sis: Maybe that’s because you're wearing MY glasses

We don't have any SUSU drinks

I almost forgot this story until Mom bought it up just now
She just opened one of the boxes of chocolate that has been lying in the refrigerator for a couple of months, and was reading the label n stuff on the box.
One of the ingredients read as Susu Krim which means Cream Milk or something like that

She stared at it for a lil while
Mom: Erm, so what does Susu mean.
Me: What?
Mom: What does Susu Mean. It is written on the box
Me: Oh. Susu means Milk.
Mom: Oh. Heeheehee (and then all break out into hysterical laughter)

See. where i come from, Susu means Urine. So its one of those cultural differences things that has come up here.

When i moved to Singapore, Mala n me decided to have lunch at a food court we'd not been to yet. It was our first month and we were still in the adventurous and exploratory stage of our new lives here in Sin city.
So we order some food and find a table.
Singapore has a lotta food courts which are a bunch of food stalls bunched together. They're self service and there's some tables and chairs thrown around which you literally have to fight over since they're so many people always eating and you're always searching for a table to begin with the meal
There'll also be a drink stall with some folks who'll walk around and interrupt you every 2 mins till you order something to drink.

So, there we are sitting at our table just about to begin eating, and the Drink Guy (DG) walks over.

DG: You want something to drink? what you want to drink?
Mala: Can i have a diet coke
DG: OK. Can. One diet coke. What for you?
Me: Do you have any watermelon juice?
DG: No No. No watermelon juice
Me: ok. What else do you have?
DG: No juice. You want Susu drink? No Susu drink. Only canned Lah. No Susu.

This was followed by 30 seconds of silence between Mala n me. It's not that we were just stunned and completed blown away by those last lines, we just didn't know how to react.
So apparently they didn't have any fruit juices or milkshakes. Only canned drinks Lah

I ordered a diet coke as well
We never went back to that food court.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer Part - II

Not quite Zombie killer, but hey i'm getting there.
Yes, i know.. i seem to be on a roll with the quizzes

58%

Created by OnePlusYou

May The Force Be With You

20

Created by OnePlusYou

Heehee...Now this is something to think about.

Of Apartment Stories and Bird Droppings

This day a year ago, i moved into this apartment.
Feels like its only been a couple o months.. In fact i think this past week is the first week that i've spent this much of time in the apartment now that Mom and Lil Sis are here. In fact, in the past one week, i have walked up the stairs to the bedroom and down and up and then all over again more than i walked the whole of the last one year.
Went to Jurong Bird park today, these are some of the Birdy pictures....
The more "artful" flowery pics are posted here

Pelican Cove...

I'm not a Parrot person, but...

This one is called Shoe-bill

T'was a red party out there.. (ok, ok, SAD joke)

The One Year Anniversary

It has been one year that I've been in Singapore. And I never thought I'd say this but time does fly by and Thank God for that.
I realised it last night and told the Boyfriend during my atleast-thrice-a-day long distance call to India.


Me: So you know its been a year I've been in Singapore

Boyfriend: Oh yes, 22nd October. It has been a year.

Me: you're supposed to say something about it

Boyfriend: Well, lets see. In the one year you've been away, you've come back home visiting 3 times. So its not like its some big achievement you've spent a year away. When I was in Dubai, there was a time I didn’t come home for 16 months, and then after that I didn’t come home for 2 and a half years.

Me: What does that have to do with any of this? You're supposed to say 'congratulations' or 'its been a year you've been away from me, I miss you' or some rubbish like that.

Boyfriend: Oh. Ok. Hmmm



Well, other than that lovely conversation that put a lotta things in perspective (not!), these are my other accomplishments for the year gone by. Since so much of my time is spent at work, I thought I'd start with work related accomplishments first. (I know. You were expecting me to say sleeping. But Sleep comes in at no. 2. No way I sleep enough for a growing healthy human being)

Work related accomplishments:

• Yesterday, while at work, I finished the really long crossword in 20 mins. And then continued doing various other similarly names crosswords to while away the day.


• Successfully able to keep up with all activities on Facebook and responding to all the challenges on Text Twirl, scramble and all those other games.


• My collection of awards playing bingo on Facebook. (Yes, that IS how boring it gets.. I stoop to these levels to stay entertained)


• Have finished reading 3 novels in the confines of my small cubicle (if you can call it that). Am now on my fourth.


• Been on time at work 5 times in the last year. (Wow!!! 5 times)


• Ensured the my mobile service provider will definitely be in business for a while considering my phenomenally LARGE monthly mobile bills.


• Ability to go home during office hours for a short nap. If timed correctly, I usually pick up a subway go home and eat it while watching The Ellen show and then have a post-lunch nap. It usually is always timed correctly.


• Have bitched about the rains in Singapore atleast 3 times every week.


• Extraordinary ability to show I care about the goings on at the workplace.


• Most posts made on this blog have been made while at the office - So that is all the testimony you should require.


• Organised office trips to places like Thailand and Malaysia so that I can see those countries and not pay for the flight myself.


• But THE Main Accomplishment: Refined the ability to bullshit my way through all situations, ensure the whole lot loves me for my wisdom and the hard work I put in while at the same time still being able to do the crossword of the day.
  

Non-work related accomplishments

• Collection of shoes which I have spent more money on that I used to make in India. It also needs to be highlighted that once I move back to India, I might need a room only for my shoes.


• Same goes for the book collection. The 61 books you see in the pic are less than half of it. Most look like library books because I got them from a library sale. I see no shame in buying second hand books when they are for 2$ each. (and yes, that is an Arsenal banner above it)

• I will shamefully add my trips back to India in this list here. It takes money to travel - money I've been earning and spending away like there's no tomorrow.


• My Lovely collection of Whisky and Wine and other things divine. I really should take a pic.


• The renewed ability to sit for countless hours in front of the idiot box at home while all around me things lie waiting to be picked up and put in their right places.


• The constant reduction in brain cells - the ones that are dying away for lack of being used to do anything constructive. Other than make lists like these

Oh, and by the way, this post was also written at the workplace where I am otherwise employed to change other peoples' worlds and make it a better place for you and for me and the entire human race...

Why God made Moms

I called dear ole Mum to see how much the excitement of getting to Singapore on friday had gotten to them. That and i also wanted some things from India

Me: Ooh you'll are coming this friday. Damn, i need to start cleaning the house
Mom: What? why? you don't need to clean especially for us. Its only us who are coming. And its not like you live like that pig and its very dirty (wait till you see it mom)
Me: No but still. i should
Mom: Don't worry. I'll come there and clean it for you
Me: (looking gift horse in the mouth) What? you're going to come to Singapore on holiday to clean my house?
Mom: Ofcourse i'll clean it. I'm your Mom after all


Yippeeeeeeeeee
(while doing the Chandler dance)
But like a good daughter should, i will make sure the house is decent looking by the time they get here. I'd feel a lil guilty if i didn't.

I think this might be one of Murphy's Laws

"It may take a whole day to clean your house. It takes all of 30 seconds to mess it up again."

Moral of the story: Wait for Mom to come to Singapore next week

Hurry, the guests are almost here

No. No guests are coming
But Mommy dearest and Lil sis are coming to Singapore for a holiday

I was quite excited about their one week trip here, until Mom let it slip that they're here for 21 days. Don't get me wrong, its not that i don't want em here. But there's not that much to show around here in Singapore to make it interesting for 21 days in a row. Also, now that i', used to living alone, i'm not so sure about having people over for 21 days - Even if it is family.

They're expecting a red carpet treatment at the airport - so i promised sis that i'll have the Prime Minister come welcome them. Mr PM, if you're reading this, do try to make it
She also wants me to run a ribbon around the door to the house so that when they come home they can cut the 'red ribbon' an enter the house.. i told you i had a weird family, didn't I.

Some goods things from this trip

• Its their first trip abroad, so i am excited for them
• I get a refill on Hot and Sweet sauce, which you dont get in Singapore
• Hopefully Mom will oblige with the cooking - so there'll be something besides Maggi noodles to eat
• I get to pretend to fall sick some of the days, so i can show them around
• Hopefully Mom will oblige with how to make the place look better

Some not-so-good-things:

• Dad couldn't make it for the trip
• The boyfriend is worried i wont be calling him as much as my non-work hours will be spent with the family
• Need to remove all the contraband stuff from the house - pics of the boyfriend, ashtrays, cigarettes
• Won't be able to smoke
• Need to clean the house

Well, they're here next saturday, so i have a week of sanity left

A day in the life of a wasted bum

11:13 a.m.:

- I came in at 9:15
- Its 11.13 now. I've been surfing the net since 9:23
- I changed things around on the blog as I had nothing else better to do
- My fingers are frozen. I cannot type. Its that cold in the office
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer does still play on TV. On AXN Beyond at 23.00 SIN time on weekdays. - In the last episode, Angel has just left her to go to LA.
- I'm waiting for lunch
- Pianoman is playing in my head
- My last google search was on the US presidential debate - for lack of things to do
- I'm thinking on mint chocolates
- Yes, i am still awake. I haven't dozed off to sleep yet DESPITE the lack of things to do

12:32 pm:

- Just smoked 3 cigarettes
- Discussed the lack of things to do at work and the need to find another job with Mala
- Arguing with self that this job will pay for new Bose speakers, new study to house all books and one room for all my shoes when i finally do decide to go back to India. So i need to stick around and work and save money
- Just won argument with self since, well, lets face it, I'm never gonna actually save any money. So i might as well leave now
- Its 12.35 - LUNCH TIME IS HERE !!!!

02.00pm

- Just back from a nice Indian Lunch
- Wondering what to do next - there's 3.5 hours to go
- Aaaah yes!!! Facebook!!!

02.14 pm:

- Realisation has just dawned upon me - many moons ago, I had prepared for this eventuality for complete worklessness. I have movies on my iPod - Transformers - here I come

02.39 pm

- Lateralus to the rescue. iPod movies will now be kept for a rainier day (God forbid such a day ever comes.. but it will. Probably tomorrow) Have a new site to explore now. I quite like these Black cab sessions
- Listening to music and drinking green tea now. I might as well get used to this.

02:45 - 05:00

5:00 pm:

- Finally doing some work now. Making a powerpoint presentation for the team however i think it may be a tad too fancy for their liking (i.e. they may not understand) I'm wondering if i should just stand there and talk to them and if needed draw stuff on chart-paper on the spot - that might make a better impact. But due to lack of better things, i will continue with the powerpoint for now. There's something to be said for coming down to the level of the masses so they may understand you.

- But hold on, i'm not giving the presentation. The perks of being a manager - DELEGATION !!!

5:30 pm:

- Yes!!! 5:30 is FINALLY here. I need a drink. Or two. Or more.

The Office Productivity Index - Astrology is an exact Science

In light of the upcoming changes in the company organisation structure and the fact that, if at all it is even remotely conceivable, i am very soon going to be even more workless. (or as normal people would say, i'm going to have even less work to do) So i have decided to stop working from today onwards.
I mean, hey, its gonna take a while for me to adjust to the additional lack of work, so i'm just going to use this time now to slowly begin adjusting myself to this new lifestyle.
For those who i haven't grumbled about this to already - tis a bit like this

Life as it is now:
I come in to work at 9, and by 10 i have finished my work for the day. Between facebook, this blog, chatting with other folks who have nothing to do, making long distance phone calls on the company account, and surfing the net for random things, i spend the rest of the day (i.e. 10 am to 5.30pm) looking for work - new ideas, ways to make things better. There's only so much of talking and surfing you can do in a day. And that gets mind numbingly boring if you do it everyday. A girls gotta have something to do - even if it is actually working, and earning my keep, so to say

Life as it will be come mid Nov:
The astrologers have predicted that supposedly more responsibility will come my way. My translation of this awesome prediction is i'm going to have lesser work to do. While Lateralus has tried convincing me that "they'll give you more work" i have a theory on this as well (its a bit strange calling you that, by the way, you might want to consider changing it maybe? Denny Crane?)
Theory: The new "more " work is no work at all, atleast for me!!! Its what others can (and will) make a day out of and i'll still finish by 10 am. (Yes, I AM THAT GOOD AT IT) Therein lies the problem, my friend.
With the new fancy changes, 'new ideas for improvement' isn't supposed to be what i should be doing. And the idea of sitting here from 10 - 5 twiddling my thumbs is no longer appealing, even remotely.
Strange thoughts have been cropping up in this idle-mind-which-is-a-devils-workshop lately.
Like:
- I wonder what it feels like to actually have work to do
- Should i abandon my no work but all pay job and look for something else?
- Does Buffy the Vampire Slayer still run on TV?
- I wonder what it feels like to actually have work to do

I'll be back!!!?

You know how you go on holiday or wherever and then you come back after a couple of days
And then you meet friends or other people you know
And they look at you and go "You're back !"
Why do they do that? I mean its kinda obvious when you're standing in front of em that you’re not in Kathmandu any more.

DEBT FREE and loving it.

1 down and 33 to go from my list of things to do.
As of October 5th, i am now DEBT FREE!!!
Yes ladies and gentlemen.. unbelievable but surprisingly true !!!! That final 85 thou has been paid off and i happily owe no one now. Nice birthday gift this was to myself. Next one to target might be learning to swim.. seems like an easy one to do right now.

I'm back !!!!

And still sick :(
And it hasn't yet sunk in that I'm back from Bombay. Got back yesterday morning. But this morning, i forgot i was back in SIN. So i didn't get up. Then i got up and wasn't feeling well, so i went back to sleep. That makes it 2 days in a row I've been late to work. This could be the beginning of a trend, in fact i hope it is.
The being sick isn't helping. I'm not sick enough that i can take leave and stay at home in bed all day, but sick enough that its getting annoying. I hate having a cold - break my hand and i can come to terms with it, but a cold i cannot live with.
Spent my whole holiday back home with a fever and almost no voice - no way to have a good birthday - or as someone said the other day - I've spent half ** a century on this planet now. That does put things in perspective

----Update--
Ooops.. My bad.. she said quarter century, i think in my excitement of typing i wrote half instead of quarter... it may have been because i was wasted, or it may have been because half has lesser letters to type out than quarter.. Thanks Lateralus

Sahara Samay - Why i love Indian News Channels

Now i didn't catch what it was the anchor was talking about and i'm not about to go look it up, BUT... i did hear his very passionate statements (my 2-bit comments added)
"We are staring down the barrel of a gun and the barrel seems to be pointing straight at us" (Whaaaaa !!!!)
(And then as an afterthought) "...and nobody seems to be noticing" (Sniff)

So How's the Weather?

So you call up a 'close' relative who you haven't spoken to for like 5 months atleast.. and the first thing they say to you after "Hi" and "Oh... its been so long, i didn't recognise your voice" is (drum roll please)
"So, how is the weather in Singapore, is it raining?
Is it rainy season there? does it rain all the time?"

I need new relatives.

So I'm Home already

Yippeeeeeeeeee.. which is all i can say at this moment

Dear John... How to make friends on Facebook

Hey K....,
how's school and everything going?
How's your week been?
xox,john ; D

This is the message i found in my inbox on Facebook
Now needless to say, i do not know any John D, and you'd think he would check before sending a message to random strangers (Or is this the new trend now ? hmmm)
I didn't find a lot of people with my name on Facebook, so he must be real daft to screw up like this.

Neway, i'm contemplating this reply:

Dear John
My week has been fantabulous (schoolkid lingo, getting into character now)
The fact that i'll be holidaying back home before you can finish properly singing 'November Rain' makes it an even better week
School was great, awesome i tell you. I stopped going some 9 years ago. They said i had to leave and join some college. Something about finishing my education and moving on.. i don't remember well now, but i think i was happy about leaving.

Everything else is going great too. I would be more specific except i haven't a clue in the world what you are referring to.

By the way, if you don't mind me asking, who are you?

Cheers,
K
PS: Did the "xox" in your mail mean something like hugs and kisses? Mama always told me never to talk to strangers, let alone share hugs or kisses.. and i'm already pushing that rule by sending you this mail, so....

Something is very wrong with the world this week...

....My world that is
Other than the continuing financial crisis and investment banks rolling over sooner than you can say Bazoookaaa!!! (word for the week?)
(every one wants to join in before this goes outta fashion it seems)

Okie, to get back on track...so other than the money matters and the mild powder being bad because the Chinese didn't know they were poisoning us (or did they?)... i sent out 35 e-mails at work yesterday (notice how i broke it in very subtly)
It would be the most productive day of my employment - not since my imprisonment in logistics where i had to work 25-hour days have i done this much of work without even realising it.
You can understand the enormity of this situation when you realise that most days i average at about 10 mails a day - OK, OK.. actually there are some days i send only 1 or 2 e-mails
So 35 is a whoppingly big number... this overshadows Lehman Brothers problems even...
As president of the lazy club (yes Lateralus, i made myself president while you were busy working) this is a serious issue which is turning my productivity Topsy-turvy (Topsy-turvy was runner up for word of the week)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAnnndddd just when you thought it couldn't get any worse than this... its been only 2 hours at work today and I've already sent 20 e-mails out already. At this rate, this is going to be an even more productive day than yesterday (Holy atomic pile, Batman!!!)
Don't worry Mom, I'm not over exerting myself or any fancy jazz like that.. in fact, i didn't even know what a day yesterday was until i came to work today.

But ..but... transitioning from being someone who comes late to work at 9:15 and is done for the day by 10:00 am, and spends the rest of the day with puzzles, facebook and novels (Yes, I've started reading novels at work... unashamedly... not online, but paperbacks.. One of the perks of being manager i call it..) to now being someone who doesn't even realise that I'm putting in so much work in a day they're likely to create a character for me on Heroes... well the transition has strangely not been realised by me at all. But. It will be rebelled against..
A "Change We Can Believe In" ?? I think not.

New found love...Ray LaMontagne

If you haven't already.. you HAVE to listen to Ray LaMontagne.
This isn't my usual kinda music, but i am completely hooked.. hooked enough to go get all the albums
Amazing listening for any time of day no matter what mood i am in (not a lotta artists in the category of music that fits all my moods)

Listen to the newest song on the sidebar
Other amazing songs:

• Trouble


• Until the Sun turns black


• Let it be me (Listen here)


• Hold you in my arms


• To love Somebody


• ......

Can't wait for the new album "Gossip in the grain"

--update-- Click here for my review of Gossip in the Grain

Drinking is healthy for lazy smokers

The Sydney Morning Herald is now among my favourite newspapers.
They had this very very interesting article to make my morning:

Drinking can be good for your heart. But you have to be a lazy smoker with an aversion to fruit and vegetables to reap the full benefits In possibly the most unfair medical finding this year, Britain's leading researcher on the link between health and behaviour, the Australian expatriate Michael Marmot, found that smokers with the worst diets and poorest exercise habits could consume as many as 14 standard drinks a week - the threshold of what is considered harmful under proposed Australian guidelines - and still lower their risk of having a heart attack, stroke or other form of cardiovascular disease.....

Unfair my arse... this calls for celebration !! Hic !!!

The Nanny... Revisiting old times

Just saw an episode of "The Nanny"
Oh well, just watch

Specially the part from the 6th minute onwards...

Just another Manic Tuesday...

Ok, this is now officially one of those weird weeks that I just barely float through.
I took the wrong elevator to the office today and then unknowingly got off on the wrong floor. Then i decided to walk it to my floor only I walked in the wrong direction.. So instead of going down I went up.
Then realisation dawned upon me and I turned around and walked down.. And only then realised that I was on the correct elevator before I just hadn't pressed the button for the 10th floor

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how this Tuesday is going to be

Monday Morning Blues?

I am not someone who ever has Monday blues… not that I like coming to work everyday, but Monday is not given any special status in my book of life.. I don’t like waking up every morning, regardless of the day of the week (OK, OK, except Saturdays and Sundays when the day begins by 3 noon)
But this is one of those days that are just not getting over. I feel like I've been here at this desk a week at least - at a stretch
All I have to do today that should really matter is write up minutes of my meetings in Malaysia last week. But NO, I can't for the life of me be bothered to get it done with right now.. Which means I'll start at 5:20 and try and rush thru it so I can be out the door by 5:30. Oh well, its all about managing expectations - and I CANNOT be expected to care.

My only contribution to this day is the below "poem"
"I'm here I'm there I'm everywhere
but home in bed is where i want to be"
Which I might add, I think is worthy of the Whatsitcalled award that poets get. And Mr. D'souza, I do not like your comments on making me think!!!

Also, I found this on one of those sites on How to Beat the Monday Morning Blues (altho it is 3 in the afternoon here now)
"Take comfort in knowing that you are not alone in feeling miserable on Monday morning. There are millions of folks out there feeling the same way."
No. comfort doesn't help. Although my bed might.

The Dark Phase of my life is over

Finally, I am over and done with this craze. The normal days are back again. Let me explain.

I HATE shopping. The whole idea of spending hour after hour into a million malls buying countless clothes - choosing, selecting.. Wondering whether those pants makes one look thin or like a turkey plumped for Thanksgiving, then wondering which of the 2 shirts look good cause 'well, Oh, I do like them both you know..I just cant make up my mind' !!!!
Phew !!! I dunno how people do this.
You need a shirt, you go into a store, pick one, buy it and walk out - 15 mins tops - that's all it should take. Can't decide between 2 - well then buy them both and leave everyone be. That salesperson doesn’t give a rats arse which one makes you look good as long as you buy something and get on with it.
This is usually how I used to shop. I've always hated shopping..so the faster its over with, the better.

But then.. Things changed a bit when I went to Bangkok.. I'm not sure why or how but I think its was Mob mentality. Yes, yes, I am blaming this on other people. See, the girls who were with me were maniacs - at shopping that is.. They just picked everything in the store. Where a normal person would pick maybe 2 items of clothing in 10 mins, these women had picked 12.
It was like they were on a mission to take everything from Bangkok back home. So in this feeding frenzy, I got carried away a bit and bought quite a few things as well - things that I didn’t particularly need!!!
And its kinda continued from then onwards.. Buying things I may not want/need but for the fact that they look good or whatever.

But then Malaysia happened last week.
Yes, I did shop.. Bought a couple of things - all things I will be using. Mostly cause I was forced to go shopping. People I know from the Bangkok days apparently remembered my "like" for shopping and took me around to do the same in KL. I didn't know how to break it to them that I didn't want to, so I just went along with it…
But for the rest of the trip when I was by myself.. Didn’t buy anything (Something for the boyfriend, but this will be his first gift in a year I think, so it shouldn’t count)
Didn’t feel like buying - didn’t want to buy.. I just looked around.. Content with myself that THE DARK PHASE OF MY LIFE IF FINALLY OVER

Of Travel and Birthdays

Off to Malaysia and since i'm not going to be there.. Happy Birthday Mr. Dsouza. Have a good one.

Eat less red meat to help the environment, UN climate expert says

People should eat less red meat if they want to help combat the effects of climate change, a leading United Nations expert said.
This made new yesterday morning.. and I found this article on the Telegraph site.
I don't intend to comment on this article.. but you need to go to the article and read the comments everyone else has posted there.. very very 'informative' if one can use that word.

Some excerpts:

"What would be even more useful for the planet is if he and other experts were to stop emitting carbon dioxide."

"So they have started on methane The will ban us farting next."

"Does praying in a kneeling/prostrate position affect climate change? "

"The eco-religions are putting us in danger by shifting focus from the real issue of our time... energy security. I for one, do not trust Russia one iota."

"I'd say, eat less vegetables because they give you so much more gas than meat or fish. The computer model used to "prove" climate change by man must be fantastic. Can it tell us about tomorrow,s weather?"

and then... this gem

"Bloody hopeless, most of you. Do you ever think beyond your own selfish wants? Why are you so quick to condemn a scientist who wants to improve the quality of life on earth? Well, go on then, hide your heads in the sand. Thick as bricks, you are. "

Motley Crue are coming to Singapore

Yes, Mötley Crüe in Singapore.. not in some stuffy auditorium, but open air, a concert like it should be.
No, they're not top of my list of artists i like, but hey its not everyday that artists like this come to Singapore. Its only the Avril Lavigne and Pussycat Dolls that come here otherwise.

So Yes, Mötley Crüe are coming to Singapore and I am going... 16th October 2008.

Proof that the Real Estate and Property prices in Singapore are really high

Now you know property is really scarce in Singapore when you see something like this:

Me: So wassup. How are things?
Mr. Slim: Not too bad, but my boss is resigning.
Me: (dramatically) Oh!! How come
Mr. Slim: He found greener patches somewhere


Not pastures, no no. Not in SIN. They can only accommodate patches now

Tempted By The Fruit of Another

I cannot stop loving this ad.. just keep humming it the whole day..or maybe its some dark force within me telling me i need some beer

How NOT to serenade a woman

In between this very hard working week, there's a plan for an office party this weekend; with events and all that jazz ("All that jazz" is the word/phrase of the week)
and someone wants to sing a song.. and wants me to sit in front of him for inspiration..

Song in question:
Michael Learns to Rock: That's why you go away.
There was a reason i forgot about that band 5 mins after i heard it the first time. Kill me. Kill me now

This is what i get paid to do at work...AND.. Word of the week

My word for this week is "Quick".. like Quick lunch, or quick nap or quick bite..Its a huge challenge cause nothing that i do is quick.. Quick is not a word that has or can ever be associated with me.. but the Gods (me) have spoken and QUICK is the word of this week

Also, while on the quick topic - here is a short snippet of how i spend my valuable time at work.. i guess the company doesn't know they're paying me for my time spent at these conversations.

Mala [11:04 AM]:
where are we having lunch?

Killemall [11:04 AM]:
PSA
I need to have a quick lunch today

Mala [11:04 AM]:
ok

Killemall [11:04 AM]:
btw, in case you didn't know
quick is my word for the week

Mala [11:04 AM]:
whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Killemall [11:04 AM]:
it was selected randomly among 40 other applicants for the position

Mala [11:05 AM]:
can we remove quick to replace it with long??

Killemall [11:05 AM]:
well, its not fair to QUICK then cause it fought tooth and nail to get where it did
but if you want long
then we'll have to do it on the sly without quick knowing

Mala [11:05 AM]:
i don't really think quick has teeth or nails...

Mala [11:06 AM]:
ok
lets do that

Some things you didn't know about Micheal Phelps...

This is what i found on on Page 2 of an Indian newspaper today... the things is, if you didnt know this was about Micheal Phelps, what lovely images it could being up in a twisted mind. I underlined my favourite parts

His diet and regime make him a winner Phelps is a phenomenally gifted athlete, his grit and determination are beyond comparison. His success can also be attributed to his insane diet and his 2-metre wing span. Special tests have shown that his body develops far less lactic acid than other athletes and this leaves him less fatigued at the end of a gruelling swim. India does not have the infrastructure to create a Phelps. Training from a young age, intense discipline and cutting edge training technology can get us there. Everybody wears Speedo's special swimsuits but not everyone matches Phelps.
—A I. Swimming enthusiast

Anzi, i'm know you chose your words well when you said these thing.. It is because you have a twisted mind that you're my friend

The Pick up line in denial that worked

Man in a bar: Excuse me, can you tell me what time it is?
Fat Lady: You know, that is a really bad pick up line.
Man: Sorry, i wasn't trying to pick you up. I really do want to know what the time is

Anyhoo, they had a good night together.. he asked her for the time again the next morning

How India have already made a bad start in the first 5 mins of the Olympic March

Who on earth was that idiot?

The Indians look lovely in our Indian attire. And you can see how proud they are..only 57 strong and no hockey team (which even though is our national game, i think its good we're taking a break from it seeing as its more politics than sport)
Loved seeing Sonia Gandhi waving her arms away. Why no Manmohan? least i didn't see him.

And then in all this splendour, who was a idiot on the phone?
"Haaji mein abhi beech mein chal raha hoon. dekho dekho, tv pe dekho..." Jackass

PS: Leander, i saw you.. :O)

How many of these countries did you know?

I didn’t know some of these countries existed? I thought i was quite good at Geography

• St Vincent and the Grenadines? Wha wha whaaaa?
• St tome and Principe?
• Note to self - Aruba is a real country

--------10.16 pm

• Palau? not pulao?
• Isn't Cypress a part of Greece?
• Nauru? One member 'team' this

The Beijing Olympic Athletes March...Live??

I'm guessing at this point of time i can only comment on the costumes:

• Barbados – looked like they came straight off the beach
• The Hats of Paraguay were real nice, the flag-bearer looked like he needed a sandwich.
• Everyone seemed very happy to see the Cuban team. Maybe people were expecting they got cigars for everyone?
• Burundi– I want to go there. Those straw hats are awesome.
• I loved the Lithuanian team. They were ALL very happy. I know only one Lithuanian and he’s funny as hell. This whole team looked like copies of him.
• The Canadians looked like they were ready to go on a boat ride. A bit sailorish
• Hahahahah.. Bermuda in Bermuda shorts… soooo cuteee (this is the only time you’ll see that word used on this blog. I promise. The word 'Cute' I mean )
• Do not mess with that flag bearer from Guam – Ricardo Blas Jr. That flag looked a bit scared being in his hands
• The Jordan ladies liked they came straight off the miss world contest
• Notice how the team from Cook Islands are all fatties?
• Argentina look like their having a lotta fun

---------------- 10:28 pm

• Has the whole of the USA come in to participate? there must be atleast a million. Not marching very well either.
• The Thailand PM is wearing the same uniform as the Thai team. Very touching.
• Karam Gaber, the flag bearer for Egypt looks hot!!

----------------10:37 pm

• Hats off to Costa Rica. They so far are the only team that have marched in straight lines.
• How on earth are the number of strokes needed to write Peru more than the number for St Vincent and the Grenadines
• I want those Portuguese hats, banners, and costumes also...

------------10:49 pm

• That chick carrying the Fiji flag could have made a good a sidekick on Xena, Warrior Princess
• Peoples Democratic Republic of Korea? North Korea is a peoples democratic republic? Lots of cheering
• Mr. Federer and his delegation looked like happy schoolkids out on a field day
• I didn't know the Swedes used fans? Them ladies were busy fanning them around. Cold country. No?
• heheeeheee i LOVE Mongolia.
• I have to say, so far.... the New Zealand team was the MOST impressive. Mahe Drysdale, You The Man
• The Italian team obviously was all over the place,.. but that is expected. The Senegal team had to wait till they cleared off. Just like their Spanish neighbours before
• A 2 feet difference between the lady with the German placard and the German flagbearer.. and they were carrying some of the team on their shoulders; now i would have expected that of the Italians or Spanish, not the Germans… was nice to see. I loved those hats some of ‘em had.. Again.. Again someone on the cellphone. Sigh

Yes. The Chinese team were the most impressive, if only for the reception they received. And it was a lovely touch seeing that lil kid who saved 2 peoples lives during the earthquake walking alongside Yao Ming.

The Beijing Olympics - Opening Ceremony

Oh well… cant help myself… so here goes, my two piece on the Olympics as i'm watching it

The fireworks and performance.. i'm actually not gonna say anything about.. it was just awesome... hats off guys

Was extremely pissing off but expected that they would be advertisements in between the ceremony - I guess its only right that they make some money off this. But the weird thing was that the advertisements were only about StarHub & adverts for serials on the channel; so dunno the whole point of it since they weren’t making any money off it.

A lil disorienting at first that that the countries were not in the alphabetical order – yes it did keep the suspense up tho. It's by Chinese stroke-order, rather than alphabetical. So it depends on how many strokes it takes to write your country’s name in Mandarin.

I loved the part where the athletes leave their footprints as they walk along the arena.

What is with people walking on the arena for their countries and taking on the Fucking phones. Talk about Nationality and pride.

There was a lady dancing away among the dudes playing the drums. Yes, they played really well, but Hon I don’t think anyone was watching you.

How come so many countries in beiges and brown uniforms?

Was it just me or did all the ladies carrying the placards with the country names all look the same

I have to say the music didn’t match the countries that came out. What on earth did they play when the Mexicans arrived

Aaaahh.. they used those footprints later to be part of the stage during the lighting of the flame

I hope those dancers who’ve been cheering the teams along in the arena get paid a lot.. they must be dead tired by now.. I can see the athletes streaming buckets of sweat and they haven’t been out there as long as these dancers

Dear Jacques Rogge - A very drab man reading from his notes should not be saying the below words:
Have fun. Remember however that they are about much more than performance alone…Please compete in the Olympic value of … friendship and respect… Reject doping and cheating...Beijing, you are the host to the present and gateway to the future…
Put a lil life into it, you know.. the words were great, but you need to work on the marketing bit

There didn’t look like there was any breeze blowing there, so how come then Olympic and Chinese flags were the only ones fluttering wildly while the others looks limp like limp flags do.
Hmmm.. just a thought, since we’ve they’ve been talking about the pollution so much, aren’t all these firecrackers adding on to it?

In all..i have never been this excited throughout an Olympic ceremony.. actually.. any ceremony.. right till the end…

I have to say, this is the best run of the torch lighting I have seen. The previous countries didn’t have much on this one. This was just all out. London, I’d suggest kidnapping some of the Chinese organisers

You also need to read these articles for their excellent commentary. And yes, some of those comments are just stupid : The Guardian , The Telegraph

Keep your eyes open and your mind alert. Goodnight

its 9:25 on a Friday morning. I walked in to work 10 mins ago, and I'm already done for the day. Sometimes i have the fact that i'm so efficient.
what in God's holy earth am i supposed to do the rest of the day now.
There's only that much you can do on facebook, and text twist and messenger and the Internet.
Sleeping at 4 in the morning for 2 days in a row isn't helping either. i look like i'm still in bed.

I need to arrange my face now, so it looks like i'm awake

Malacca - the weekend trip

Malacca or Melaka is quite commercial & touristic for a small town in Malaysia. If you're planning to go there :

• Carry a very detailed map. Specially if you're driving to Melaka. None of the locals know the names of their own roads or directions on how to get ANYWHERE. And I'm not just bitching here, we drove around for 2 hours trying to find our supposedly famous hotel. A Tourist told us how to get there in the end. (this wasn’t only in Melaka but the entire way from the Malaysian border to the town which is a 5 hr drive)


• If you're going there from Singapore like I did, then enjoy the cheaper alcohol, cigarettes and other things. Even fuel which we used a lot of - driving around trying to find our bloody way


• Leave early - so you can beat the hordes of cars lined up at the customs and immigration gate to get into Malaysia. It does give you the feeling that everyone wants to get outta the city.


• Also, the expressways are really nice and scenic and stuff, but do remember - just cause there's a good expressway doesn’t mean everyone can drive well. There was a 11 car pile up when we were returning. I know it was 11 cause we counted the smashed up cars as we drove by.


• Book in advance, there seemed like there was only one room left among all the hundred of hotels in the entire city and luckily we got that one. WHEW!! Seriously, even the Holiday Inn was completely booked. And the supposedly famous hotel I mentioned above is Aldy which looks good from the outside at least. Also has a live one man band playing in the evenings - you need to hear it to believe it.


• Plan your trip well - we were there for bout a day and a half and you just need one day to see all there is to see if you plan it well.. Like I said - it’s a town, not so big.

This place has been under Portuguese, British, Dutch & Japanese control. So there's many historical sites that are now museums and cultural places. There's also many old 17th - 18th century churches, Botanical gardens, a really lovely antique artefacts n furniture street, lotsa places to eat, drink and be merry, the usual shopping to do. Must see mainly is Fort A Famosa, Portuguese Square, all the churches, the antique stuff, and Stadhuys Building which was the Dutch Governor's residence

Maritime Museum..Obviously on a boat

Christ Church - one of the famous churches and another of the many red structures

This one was a quaint lil bar we found close to Christ Church

For a birds-eye view, you need to go to Fort Famousa