Heal the world....

=>What is your contribution to environmental conservation?

Answer: I conserve air-conditioning at home by hanging out at a mall on weekends.

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This is why i love working where i work. Enterprising colleagues who make monday mornings so much more entertaining.

Run, Run for your lives!!!

We had a fire drill in the office this week. My first one in Singapore, and I have to say if this is the way people react to the fire drill, then a lot of people will die when it actually happens.

For one, it took me 15 mins to get down from the 10th floor - No, not because I am slow, but because the people ahead of me were moving like retarded snails. And i can guarantee you that if it wasn't a drill and a real one, they would move at exactly the same pace

The thought did cross my mind of just kicking everyone out of the way or atleast muttering to myself hoping everyone around would notice my displeasure and change completely.

The fact that these thoughts have been blitzkrieging in my mind before you can say whaa seems like a ray of sunshine. Atleast now I know Singapore has not deadened all of my braincells and some of them are active enough to realise how fucked we all are gonna be when pansy boys who never played sports and too thin girls on high heels are in front of you in the race of get out of a burning building *

Not surprisingly, the only thing I bought down with me was my phone and smokes, and so did most people I know. I'm sure if there was a real fire, we'd do the same too, which should say something a out how much little we get paid out here and other profound things
The fire drill also reminds me of the other time I was at work and had to walk down bout 13 floors - there was an earthquake in India and there were some tremors in Bombay. Being the high-rent fragile building that we worked in, it did sway a lil ** and at the time I thought it was just the hangover. Then people realised that it was a tremor and general confusion took over on whether we should run, run for our lives or just continue working.

The fire alarm didn’t go off - partly the reason for the confusion.

Human Resources who are supposed to make the emergency announcements in such cases, had all evacuated faster than Hiro Nakamura took to blink his eyelids and reach the Neanderthal age.
Obviously the rest of the departments were useless and replaceable other than for Human Resources and hence the exodus. They were down 15 floors before the rest of us slow trusting folks even knew it was an earthquake ***


* If I'm not mistaken there's even a group on facebook called "I Secretly Want To Punch Slow Walking People In The Back Of The Head" and if I remember correctly, which of course I do, I did join that group.
** eyewitness accounts say it swayed a lot, but you usually shouldn’t believe eyewitness accounts in India
***although they claimed they needed to be down to do a people count and ensure everyone was out of the building and accounted for. The fact that they didn’t inform anyone else didn’t seem to matter.

We don't have any SUSU drinks

I almost forgot this story until Mom bought it up just now
She just opened one of the boxes of chocolate that has been lying in the refrigerator for a couple of months, and was reading the label n stuff on the box.
One of the ingredients read as Susu Krim which means Cream Milk or something like that

She stared at it for a lil while
Mom: Erm, so what does Susu mean.
Me: What?
Mom: What does Susu Mean. It is written on the box
Me: Oh. Susu means Milk.
Mom: Oh. Heeheehee (and then all break out into hysterical laughter)

See. where i come from, Susu means Urine. So its one of those cultural differences things that has come up here.

When i moved to Singapore, Mala n me decided to have lunch at a food court we'd not been to yet. It was our first month and we were still in the adventurous and exploratory stage of our new lives here in Sin city.
So we order some food and find a table.
Singapore has a lotta food courts which are a bunch of food stalls bunched together. They're self service and there's some tables and chairs thrown around which you literally have to fight over since they're so many people always eating and you're always searching for a table to begin with the meal
There'll also be a drink stall with some folks who'll walk around and interrupt you every 2 mins till you order something to drink.

So, there we are sitting at our table just about to begin eating, and the Drink Guy (DG) walks over.

DG: You want something to drink? what you want to drink?
Mala: Can i have a diet coke
DG: OK. Can. One diet coke. What for you?
Me: Do you have any watermelon juice?
DG: No No. No watermelon juice
Me: ok. What else do you have?
DG: No juice. You want Susu drink? No Susu drink. Only canned Lah. No Susu.

This was followed by 30 seconds of silence between Mala n me. It's not that we were just stunned and completed blown away by those last lines, we just didn't know how to react.
So apparently they didn't have any fruit juices or milkshakes. Only canned drinks Lah

I ordered a diet coke as well
We never went back to that food court.

I'm back !!!!

And still sick :(
And it hasn't yet sunk in that I'm back from Bombay. Got back yesterday morning. But this morning, i forgot i was back in SIN. So i didn't get up. Then i got up and wasn't feeling well, so i went back to sleep. That makes it 2 days in a row I've been late to work. This could be the beginning of a trend, in fact i hope it is.
The being sick isn't helping. I'm not sick enough that i can take leave and stay at home in bed all day, but sick enough that its getting annoying. I hate having a cold - break my hand and i can come to terms with it, but a cold i cannot live with.
Spent my whole holiday back home with a fever and almost no voice - no way to have a good birthday - or as someone said the other day - I've spent half ** a century on this planet now. That does put things in perspective

----Update--
Ooops.. My bad.. she said quarter century, i think in my excitement of typing i wrote half instead of quarter... it may have been because i was wasted, or it may have been because half has lesser letters to type out than quarter.. Thanks Lateralus

Motley Crue are coming to Singapore

Yes, Mötley Crüe in Singapore.. not in some stuffy auditorium, but open air, a concert like it should be.
No, they're not top of my list of artists i like, but hey its not everyday that artists like this come to Singapore. Its only the Avril Lavigne and Pussycat Dolls that come here otherwise.

So Yes, Mötley Crüe are coming to Singapore and I am going... 16th October 2008.

Proof that the Real Estate and Property prices in Singapore are really high

Now you know property is really scarce in Singapore when you see something like this:

Me: So wassup. How are things?
Mr. Slim: Not too bad, but my boss is resigning.
Me: (dramatically) Oh!! How come
Mr. Slim: He found greener patches somewhere


Not pastures, no no. Not in SIN. They can only accommodate patches now

This is what i get paid to do at work...AND.. Word of the week

My word for this week is "Quick".. like Quick lunch, or quick nap or quick bite..Its a huge challenge cause nothing that i do is quick.. Quick is not a word that has or can ever be associated with me.. but the Gods (me) have spoken and QUICK is the word of this week

Also, while on the quick topic - here is a short snippet of how i spend my valuable time at work.. i guess the company doesn't know they're paying me for my time spent at these conversations.

Mala [11:04 AM]:
where are we having lunch?

Killemall [11:04 AM]:
PSA
I need to have a quick lunch today

Mala [11:04 AM]:
ok

Killemall [11:04 AM]:
btw, in case you didn't know
quick is my word for the week

Mala [11:04 AM]:
whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Killemall [11:04 AM]:
it was selected randomly among 40 other applicants for the position

Mala [11:05 AM]:
can we remove quick to replace it with long??

Killemall [11:05 AM]:
well, its not fair to QUICK then cause it fought tooth and nail to get where it did
but if you want long
then we'll have to do it on the sly without quick knowing

Mala [11:05 AM]:
i don't really think quick has teeth or nails...

Mala [11:06 AM]:
ok
lets do that

How to have a great date and get your girl drunk?

Last week we went to Em by the River again.. there was a lovely Chinese couple at a table near us.. well, no, they weren't lovely.. funny and entertaining yes.. all we did that whole evening was look at their table and laugh... big lesson this was on how to have a great date and get your girl drunk at the same time while staying completely sober yourself.

Scene: couple are drinking wine, (also tea, water and some other drinks at the same time) The girl is talking..on and on... and the guy is barely trying to listen.
One minute later: they clink their wine glasses - The girl has a sip, the man wets his lips with wine and then has a HUGE sip of water..
30 secs later: same thing,. everytime they have a sip of wine, then clink glasses and he drinks more water than wine...
2 hrs later: She's left for the loo and he tops her drink with his own.
Man to waitress: "I want water!! MORE WATER !! "

Girl returns, same things goes on for another couple of hours...

Bloody hell!!! Do all guys do this?

Sights and sounds of Singapore & Spain.. My Weird pics

I have a thing for taking weird pics.. funny things that I see around me

I've added a pic slide show to the blog.. these are mainly pics that I've taken around Singapore this year and some taken in Spain in mid 2007.. the not very normal ones, that is.
It made more sense that the previous "Weird pic for the week" post.. another milestone in the constant struggle to get lazier...
Will add more pics as the days go by...

Cannot Lah !!! - The Harley Davidson Story

Spent most of last weekend at this pub called Handle Bar…
Nice place.. biker theme. So there were lotsa biker dudes with Harleys and other big bikes
Now the thing is.. When you see a guy on a Harley, you have an image in your head of what he'd look like and act like… you'd think he would be this macho guy n stuff.. But I forgot that this is Singapore !!!
So we're having a drink and some of these guys are standing next to our table..
And they're leaving and this was the conversation:
1st Harley Guy: "How bout we do xxxx and then xxxx thing"
2nd Harley Guy (who is this hunk of a guy replies in true Singaporean style): "Cannot lah !!!" …. (I didn’t hear what he said after that.. I was stumped on big macho guy owning a Harley saying those 2 words)
Oh Singapore Singapore !!!!

It's Raining.. again...

10:41 in the morning at the sky outside looks like its 7 in the evening. Dark scary clouds all over. Reminds me of the darkness when you pull a blanket over your head in bed. Sigh, this really makes me feel like going back home and tucking in.. I can hear my bed calling me.

I've made my peace with the rains here in Singapore.
It can pour as much as it wants to when I'm in the office. But once I'm on my way home and want to go out, it is NOT allowed to rain.

Its still raining in Singapore...

This is just getting ridiculous now.. Its only rains from 5:25 to 7 in the evening every day and then the whole of Saturdays.. and literally raining.. like raining elephants... so i just cant leave work early without getting soaked during my 10 min walk home..

Rain Rain go away

It has been almost 5 months I've been in Singapore now, and the rain just hasn't stopped... I love the rain - when I'm nicely tucked in at home with a book at some bhajjiyas, but since they don't sell bhajjiyas here (and I can't cook) and it rains only when I'm out, the rain and me aren't best friends anymore.. sigh...

Oh and another thing. If you ever wanna make pudding with ripening pears, grapes, berries, peaches, milk, honey, and spare bread... and you wanna make lots of it... and you don't have an oven or a pressure cooker, or anything air-tight to cook it in - then don't think of making it.. I learnt that yesterday.

Eating and Eating in Singapore

How much can u eat in a span of 3 hrs... well I've been eating so much in the past 2 days that if I were a polar bear, I'd have put on enough fat to last me 2 winters...
My darling friend Pinto is in Sin city.. and true to college tradition of drinking and eating like 2 crazed women living the last few hours of their lives, we ended up doing what we do best - being completely giddy and crazy while hogging away to glory
Yesterday was China Town. Decorated as it is for Chinese New Year, with all the food stalls everywhere, we went mad. Tried out all the sweets and delicacies anyone would let us get out hands on, gobbled up yummy chicken rice, pigged out on oyster and egg ommlet (highly recommended btw, this is at Food Street) and then had some more sweets, even raw mango which really made us feel like pregnant women craving for all the food we could get our hands on.
By the end of it, when we reached Clark Quay for a drink, we didn't have space for it in our tummies, and we couldn't walk back to the hotel.

Today was even worse. After a lovely "filling" meal of mutton biryani at home and a well deserved nap, we headed out at 10 to my favouritest place in Singapore - eM by the River at Robertson Quay. Yummy mango salad, Garlic Prawns and lotsa margaritas later began the quest for Chilli crab at 12. Ended up at boat quay, where the nice lady recommended we order 2 crabs since they were small. what we ended up with was a foot long plate, and these huge mama crabs. We ate like there was no tomorrow, all the crab was finished, we didn't even stop in between for a breather, people passing by looked on with concern as the piles of crab shells kept increasing. we ate for an hour and a half non stop...
The only reason I'm posting this now is because this is my feeble attempt at exercise to digest all that food. I've eaten so much, that if i had another bite now i wouldn't need to swallow, the foods reached till my neck.
i don't think there will be breakfast or lunch tomorrow.

First meal?

Yesterday was the first day I've cooked a fish in my life !! or vegetables for that matter... with a lil help from Mom o'er the phone from India the Pomfret turned out just fine, so did the lady fingers...
I mean Hey, I'm still alive after last nights dinner.
I've realised I quite like this independence and eventually it will be real hard to go back to living with other people in the same house.
I've also realised that I really miss singing 'My Bonny lies over the Ocean' on the top of my voice and annoying the living hell outta most people - its just not the same thing when you sing it alone.

Of Margaritas and pick up lines

Went to this place yesterday at Dempsey road and it had all the makings of an amusing Friday night.
Our cabbie who dropped us there suddenly yelped when he saw a sign that said “happy hours”. Its never a good sign when the cabbies do that to 3 girls in their cab, it means its only too obvious that we’re going to get completely sloshed that night and everyone already knows it. Oh well…
So we enter this place and we can see weirdly dressed people doing what I’m sure they thought was burning up the dance floor… some guy in almost opaque (I swear) white shades dancing with himself and the people in his head and a lotta other people who would have gotten a mention here had they had the charisma of our ubercool white shade man

We order 3 margaritas and tell the waiter to get them frozen, and one on the rocks…
Only to find our waiter hurry back apologetically to us 10 mins later telling us that the kitchen is closed after 11:30 and so we cant get any food, would we like to order drinks instead… After patiently explaining that the margaritas were drinks and not pizzas our humble waiter who’s first day at work it supposedly is, was pretty fast in getting us our drinks.
Then a lil while later we have these two 5 foot nothing pimply guys come up to ask with the weirdest pick up line I've heard so far “ Do you think tattoos are cool, cause his sister wants to get a tattoo with her boyfriends name on her arm and I don’t think so”… sigh… the next 10 mins went trying to get them to leave after they promptly got chairs and sat their asses down.

So I called my friend Mala who sat across from me and made it look like we were both on separate calls hoping they would get the hint, which they did. But not before departing with another gem he told Mala “ You know, you wont be able to pick up a lotta men if you’re on the phone all the time”…
This will be an interesting 2 years indeed….

Getting Back in Action

SIN city doesn’t seem to be doing a lotta good for my dear ole Blog… I have had a thousand things in my head I’ve wanted to post here but there’s just been no time… now that I’m quite settled in…apartment found, coffee table and other shelves finally bought (the owner of the apartment is also Indian, so cheapo that he is, has only semi furnished the place… how can you not have a coffee table? Where was I supposed to be eating when I’m sitting on the couch and wanna put my feet up on non existent coffee table?? And what about shelves? I can’t leave things lying around on the ground (now there’s a thought) so everything is finally done now)
I’ve started cooking – well eggs and ham and anything to do with the eternally good Maggi noodles – all food is a combination of these 3 basic food groups – with orange Juice
I’ve started keeping my apartment clean – Mom, even you would be amazed that I can want to pick up my own clothes now
And thank God for the good ole usual wasted bums with me here in SIN – I’d be lost and lonely without them telling me that’s its already 6:00 pm and we need to catch up on the drinking….

Monday morning blues

In a pretty uncoordinated state, so far, in Singapore. Wont blame the time lag, but I thinks its more the fact there's no one to keep a watch on my laziness and sleeping (or should I say waking) hours
Getting up just in time to hopefully make it for work means that all the jewellery, makeup and other things are usually dumped in the bag, so that I can do them in the cab on the way to work. I tie my shoes (buckle? What is the correct word?) Straighten my collar and the usual stuff that is needed to look decent that early in the morning in the cab. Only I think I forgot to wear one earring today, so I ended up going around work for half the day wearing one big earring loop - and the strangest thing, no one noticed..Sheesh

Live from Singapore…

My first week in Singapore over and done with, and I finally have the time to catch up on my blog and the rest of my life as it was in Bombay. So many things I wanna write about, trying not to make it a 100 pages long posting. Tis' will be the first of 104 weeks in Singapore.

First day was pretty good, received a warm welcome from my boss who took me n a friend around to introduce us to the city and stuff… for all those managers getting people from outside the city to their departments LEARN people !!! Most people can find their way around, but the gesture never goes unnoticed. As my friend Muna would have said – I have a (d)olly boss. Work has being good so far - the people are really nice, which obviously helps a lot.

But it’s my second week at work and I'm bored already… this seems like a lovely start to a long and unending two years of boredom and work… sigh. More work then boredom being where the problem lies.

Searching for houses now, lets see how that goes… I’m torn between a big house far away and a small house 5 mins away from the office. It’s a question of what will win – my laziness to travel or my love for that nice quiet house that a wee bit bigger.

Of Birthday gifts and Singapore life in October...

October is a month of change and good stuff

Was my birthday last week - quite a nice haul this year with the gifts from everyone....then again, i've spent shit loads on all the parties i had...but its been a fun birthday overall
Packing my bags for Singapore this weekend, for 2 years of hopeful fun and uselessness...i really do hope its uselessness, i'm getting quite used to doing things at work at my own pace and still getting thanked for it. Something tells me now is not the time to get back into working non stop in a hectic environment and enjoying the adrenaline, now is definitely not the time
I got a Cool now Tommy Hilfiger watch which i'm really happy bout (Specially the fact that i did not have to pay for it..tihihihi) Also got a pretty lil ring from my other half (will not call him my better half - i'm the sane one in our relationship) Things are going good indeed... Now if only i can prolong my stay here in Mumbai and move to Singapore next week instead of this week