Storm in a Teacup: The story of the spineless Biscuits that hit rock bottom

One hour and twenty three minutes of the workday today were spent trying to accomplish a task called 'having breakfast' where i unsuccessfully tried to dip a biscuit in my cup of tea and put it into my mouth before the biscuit could succumb to the heat from the tea and soften and promptly fall into the tea cup.
Having spent atleast 20 years of my existence doing this task on a regular basis fairly easily, i find myself ashamed that from the 7 biscuits i attempted to eat, only 2 were managed the way they're supposed to be and the rest went to meet the tea leaves at the bottom of the swirling cup of tea.

I had more biscuit that tea in the tea cup.

And that will be always what can only be described as a faint mockery of a society that allows the existence of biscuits that cannot hold their own against hot tea.

Why some men will always be single and why you should consider it a blessing in disguise

Say one day you went for lunch to a place that was bout half an hour from your place of work. And there while having lunch you saw a girl with a bunch of her work colleagues at another table and you were smitten.
And then you said to yourself - "Why!!! this is Love at First Sight". So you came back the next day and the next and well, you've been coming back to the lunch place for almost a year now.
The girl works close by and comes there for lunch occasionally. So you see her once-twice in a week there.

Day 25: You've managed to pile on and meet her friends. Now you know her friend's name but not hers. So you go look up her friend on Facebook, Orkut and other places hoping to find 'your' girl among her list of friends and find out more about her - you know, like her NAME to being with.
Maybe eventually 2 months later you finally know her name. You're completely in love with this girl who probably doesn’t even know you exist (or maybe she considers you the weird guy who sits at her table when she goes to the lunch place sometimes)
Now that you’ve found out her name, you're worried about the fact that she's not of your religion - you know like a pastors son might worry about introducing his atheist girlfriend who he wants to marry to his father - you worry about it something along those lines
Lets mention again, in case you've forgotten, how said girl does not know you at all, but still you're crazy in love with her.

In fact, you're 'so much in love' that you've even found out her place of work (which is very far from where you work, I might add) and you go wait outside her building hoping to catch a glimpse of her as she leave the office

You don’t know if she has a boyfriend or is married or is a lesbian even- mostly cause the most you've spoken to her is probably an occasional very-hard-to-speak-right-now-cause-you're-in-front-of-me-and-I'm-tongue tied "HI"

You ask your friends for tips on how to make conversation with her and tell them how you've fallen head over heels

No, she's not Britney spears.

No, you’re not a 17 yr old Boy in college falling in love for the first time with a girl who you see in the campus either.

You're 28

You think maybe someone should slap some sense into you and tell you to get a life?